Saturday, June 24, 2006

Who is Eric Schulman?

I receive emails whenever somebody comments on my blog. Last week, I received one of those emails saying that one E. Schulman has commented on a post I made in April, three months ago! I ask myself, "Self, why would somebody comment on a post I made three months ago? What post is it anyway?"

Schulman commented on a post I made on How to Write a Scientific Paper. So, I clicked on my own link to this silly paper, and found that the writer of this humorous piece was, ironically enough, the same Eric Schulman, the master of science hilarity!

Schulman frequently writes scientific humor. He has a cool book out called A Briefer History of Time, which you can download as an eBook (free on his website) or purchase on Amazon.

He also has an excellent piece out called The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less, which I will now paste here so you don't even have to click on the link. I am assuming he won't mind me doing this...

I am honored to have been visited by such an esteemed and eminent guest such as Schulman. I hope he comes back to my blog more often. So, without further adieu:
The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?

Copyright 1996-1997 by Eric Schulman.
Reprinted from the Annals of Improbable Research, Volume III, Number 1, January/February 1997, page 27.